September, 1895

It is a matter of surprise and condemnation that many respectable women, when among themselves, are sometimes prone to converse upon certain themes in a manner which would put them to shame were it known to the other sex.

Now, the subjects of these conversations are all right.  It is the manner in which they are treated.  There is no reason whatever why child-bearing and other kindred topics should not be spoken of in a respectful, straightforward manner, but let it be done with reverence and respect.

The propagation of the human family is woman’s function to be sure, and as Christ Himself was born of woman, maternity is hallowed.  And yet, it is all too common to observe women shake their heads knowingly over Mrs. Youngwife, and perhaps after furtive glances, exclaim with a laugh when beyond her hearing: “I believe she’s in the family way, don’t you?”

What if that be true?  Is it so unusual a condition of affairs – seeing that the world is teeming with millions and all have entered the same way – that lynx-eyed individuals must proclaim the fact long before it is apparent to those “who mind their own business”?

Why, in pagan Greece, centuries ago, maternity was exalted and pregnant women treated with the utmost courtesy and consideration, rigid laws being relaxed in their favor.

How is it with us?  Frequently the expectant mother is the target of curious eyes, the subject of curious, idle comments for months preceding the birth of her baby.  And we are nineteenth century Americans – civilized, enlightened and progressive!  Why, she who holds within her being an immortal life, is imbued with the sacredness of her responsibility.  She is fully aware that her own frailties, physical and mental, are liable to be transmitted to her offspring.

“Little faults unheeded,

That I now despise,

For my baby took them

With my hair and eyes.”

The annoying consciousness forces itself upon her that her every act, word and appearance are commented on by many – not simply as friends, but in curious wonderment as to when confinement is expected, whether the little stranger will be welcome or not, etc.  I marvel how anyone who has known the name of  “mother”, who has known the suffering, the agony and the rapture of bringing her child to life, can give voice to these senseless queries regarding other women.  Yet it is lamentably true that the class most eager to learn every detail and quickest to proclaim the truth of vague surmises, are mothers themselves, often those with whitening hair and a group of growing children which should betoken on their mother’s part, more womanliness and dignity.

Int his day of reforms, when woman suffrage, social purity and other questions agitate the mind, surely this subject demands some attention.  Cannot “lovely women” learn to restrain her curiosity, or whatever urges the manifestation of undue interest in other people’s family affairs, and the relish to disclose such information?

I speak not of what passes between woman and woman in the bonds of friendship.  A genuine friend will keep to herself any disclosure of whatsoever nature it be.

But let every woman strive for a more noble type of womanhood.  “Holier than any temple of wood or stone, consecrated for divine right and moral purposes is the human body,” said one of the old Latin poets.

We can scarcely expect the little ones of the nursery to become the manly men and womanly women we would have them be if they learn that mother regards with little respect these matters, which sooner or later must come within their own knowledge, and upon which only coarse natures speak lightly.  Children are imitative and rightly interpret the mother.  Example is always better than precept.

St. Paul said long ago:  “Help those women who labor with Me.”  To-day the message rings clear and loud.  Help by not countenancing idle, senseless conjecturing and low conversations, and the twentieth century will see the dawning of a purer humanity, a more glorious manhood, a clearer-brained womanhood – better fitted to lead and guide sturdy, romping, laughing child-nature.

Quixotic ideas?  Nay, nothing is quixotic or trifling or useless which tends to bring a larger life with the range of vision.

Reference:

Knott, Estella Tucker (1895, September). Plain Words To Women. The Ladies World, XVI(9), 13. Retrieved from VictorianTimes.us http://victoriantimes.us/year-1895/plain-words-to-women. ^

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