There are certain formalities in regard to ceremonials that are not considered in villages and country places, but it is well for the country cousins who visit the city to know something about them. Some of these would not be out of place anywhere, because they have so much to recommend them for their especial purpose. Country people who have lived quiet, retired lives, and city people also who have done likewise, are sometimes brought face to face with an emergency that gives them no little worry and annoyance. In the first place, a person may be thoroughly refined and gently bred yet not be conversant with the regnant modes of observance in regard to social functions. This same individual being forced to come out of her voluntary seclusion by an event, say the marriage of a daughter, desires to conduct the affair according to good form. To any person so placed the following may be welcome.
The wedding stationery must be pure white and have a vellum finish, glossy white paper being out of date for this use. The lettering must be engraved, not printed, in plain script with all the names, dates, and words written out in full; abbreviations are not in good taste. When one is going to write an invitation for such an event as a wedding it is supposed to be an important affair for which one would like to take time and give consideration, and abbreviations argue haste and inconsideration.
The acquaintances who are to be invited to a church wedding receive the church invitation written (engraved) on an octavo sheet and folded once in an envelope to match in paper and size, also a small card on which is engraved, “Present this at the Church.” It is not obligatory to send a reply to an invitation to a church wedding. An announcement card sent after a wedding does not call for a reply, but one must send one’s card in reply to a card to a wedding reception, at the appointed time, unless one intends to accept and be present, one’s presence being sufficient answer.
In sending an invitation to a home wedding the same style and size of paper is used as described, namely; octavo size, pure white and vellum finish. Replies are expected to invitations to home weddings. The bride must wear no jewels except such as may be bridal gifts; her gown must be cut high in the neck and have long full sleeves, and her veil may either be of tulle or lace and she should carry a handsome prayer-book during the ceremony.
The following is the present form in use for an invitation to a church wedding. By substituting the house address in full with a slight variation from this form, one can have an elegant invitation for a home wedding:
request your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Clara Louise,
to
Mr. Henry Carter Raymond,
Tuesday evening, January Nineteenth,
at eight o’clock;
Christ Church
Seventh Street and Fifth Avenue,
New York,
1893.
Jean Hamilton (1893, January). Some points on etiquette in a metropolis. The Ladies’ World Vol. XIV (No. 1), 16. Retrieved from http://victoriantimes.us/etiquette/etiquette-in-a-metropolis
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